I didn’t trust a soul. How could I when someone that should have been trustworthy to the core betrayed that trust? When trust is broken, everything inside gets confused and off-set.

For years, the constant narrative that ran through my head was “men aren’t trustworthy”. Quite the blanket statement. In my mind, however, it was a simple fact. But underneath that statement was soo much hurt and fear.

Thanks a lot, trauma brain for trying to protect me But the impact of that long-term, life-shaping mindset was the loss of intimacy in all relationships, consistently thinking everyone wanted something from me which only led to me retracting and assuming NO one could be trusted. If they came off sweet, that was a sure that they weren’t who they appeared to be. Sound paranoid? YUP. You’re not wrong.

But the biggest (yet most subtle) shift that happened was I no longer trusted myself. How could I have been so wrong? If I was wrong about this person that seemed so safe, my radar on people must be jammed

The biggest gift (skill really) that I’ve been learning is how I can trust myself again. I’m still testing my discernment between actually unsafe and that whispered lie that leads me to put up an impenetrable shield. One that creates a chasm to connection in the face of no immediate danger. I don’t always get it right. But listening to my body and prayer help me to build trust for myself while simultaneously building trust for others. Or in other words — discernment.

Trust is severely impacted by sexual abuse and trauma. Trust for ourselves and for others. We didn’t choose it, it just happened as an ugly result of betrayal. Those gut instincts, although heightened, have protected us at times. Now, the next step toward freedom is to thank your   for kicking into overdrive so often to protect you.

Then, join the three day email mini-series ALL. ABOUT. TRUST. For three days, you can expect to do a mini deep dive into how to rebuild trust. It will include:

Day 1: Wild ways distrust can show up in our relationships with examples of what healthy trust does look like

Day 2: Video on how to (re)build trust for yourself (we will explore low-risk ways to build back trust for yourself)

Day 3: Your resource for how to disrupt the pattern of mistrust — and the spiral it takes us on (small steps often)