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The More You Trust Yourself, The Healthier Relationships You'll Have.

Receive easily-applicable strategies to build self-trust so you can experience unshakeable confidence.

"Why do I do that??"
(Revealing the Why Behind What You're Feeling with 1 Question)

When my friend doesn’t text me back after I share something vulnerable – I feel hurt.

When my husband forgets to do something he said he would – I feel resentful.

When I struggle to accomplish something I think should be ‘easy’ – I feel ashamed.

 

Yet, for you, these situations could bring up very different emotions. Or none at all.

 

That’s because the meaning that I assign to these actions is personalized to me. My needs. My desires. My hopes. My fears.

 

Without noticing, you do this too. You make actions mean something without realizing.

 

Let’s look at my examples again with the attached meaning behind the feeling:

  1. When my friend doesn’t text me back after I share something vulnerable – I feel hurt. 

    I make this mean that I don’t matter to her.

  2. When my husband forgets to do something he said he would – I feel resentful.

    I make this mean he doesn’t care about me.

  3. When I struggle to accomplish something I think should be easy – I feel ashamed.

    I make this mean I’m a failure.

 

My thoughts created ALL of these assumptions without checking in on the other person’s intention.

 

You can see how our minds create stories – usually, stories based in fear.

 

That’s something I love about my work. I get to help people:

  • Uncover the hidden playbook they are working from

  • Decide if all the pieces of the playbook are leading them to the life they want

  • Tear out pages that aren’t helpful

  • Write new, more life-giving pages

We all have a playbook. But when we don’t know what’s inside our pages that is running how we make decisions and how we show up in our relationships, that’s when we feel run by our emotions.

 

Friend, you get to write your own playbook. Yes, there may be sticky pages that are harder to rewrite than others. Ones that you thought you got rid of and then you find more rules in your book about that same thing later on. There may be pages that were helpful years ago that have outlived their original purpose.

 

Ultimately, your thoughts write your playbook, so that’s where we begin.

 

When you’re feeling (insert any emotion here) after an action that someone did, here’s one question to ask yourself that uncovers the meaning behind that emotion:

What does that mean to me?
 

Think of the last thing that made you feel frustrated or resentful or hurt… What did that mean to you?

What fear was in the background?

What made it so important that things go the way you wanted?

 

 

By checking in with your thoughts, you may realize, “Ohhhh, I’m making this about me when there could be something else going on.”

Or “Actually, that is worth having a conversation about what happened.”

 

 

Whatever the result, by you asking this question, you get a peek into your playbook.

 

And when you know your playbook, you get to choose more intentionally what’s in it.

 

 

It’s time to work together if you’re ready to stop working from a hidden playbook and start writing new, life-giving meaning into your everyday.

 

Schedule a 1:1 Connection Call with me here!

Pssttt… for more content like this CLICK HERE to subscribe to receive my weekly Meaningful Relationships emails!

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We all have a hidden playbook that we write as we go. It contains rules for how others should treat us; but usually, we don’t share our playbook with others. In fact, we often don’t even know what’s in our OWN playbook. When we don’t know what’s inside our pages that is running how we make decisions and how we show up in our relationships, that’s when we feel run by our emotions.

In this episode, I’ll share one question you can ask yourself that reveals the why behind what you are feeling.

This question gives you a peek into your playbook!

 

And when you know your playbook, you get to choose more intentionally what goes in it. Listen in now!

 

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